He Is God, I Am Not…

Sometimes I wrestle with hard questions…

Like why part of my faith seems to contradict itself.

I believe that God is love. The greatest, biggest, most all-encompassing love we can fathom and way beyond. And yet bad things still happen to good people. I believe that at any instant God can instantly change our situation and the course of history. Yet He also will allow a single mom of 3 to die of cancer, or a father to lose his job 6 months before retirement. And still, He is no less God, no less loving. He will furthers His plan, and can have our best interests in mind.

I believe that God is fair and just, yet can’t begin to understand why a murderer may walk and a newborn will never be given the change to live. I won’t ever fully understand how it is that we have relatively fresh produce in our roughly 85,000+ grocery stores* , and yet over 900 million* will go hungry tonight.

I know that my faith cover’s me and wholly saves me, yet seems to only adequately answer a few of life’s big questions and will leave the rest to…well faith.

I know that in order to be rich, I must be made poor. In order to be raised up, I must be humbled. In order to be filled, I must be emptied. When struck, to turn the other cheek and go the extra mile.

I know that people greatly struggle with these issues. I know that many times faith seems counterintuitive and overall the opposite of what would make sense, but the truth is,

I’m okay with that.

I believe that Christ died for the church, but also that His salvation is absolutely available to anyone who will receive it. People may ask, which one is it? I would say both. And the truth is,

I’m okay with that.

God may choose to answer the flippant prayer of a drunk man, and not answer that of the faithful Christian…He is no less fair. No less just. No less God.

I’m okay with that.

There are certain concepts that I will never fully know the answers to and may drive me crazy; and my faith may not always have the prettiest answers or even adequately answer some of my questions… but the truth is,

I’m okay with that.

I think that if I knew all the answers and could figure out life’s deepest and hardest mysteries simply by looking up at the sky or studying creation, then there would be no room or need for faith. There would be no need for trust. No need for love or grace. Ultimately no need for God.

All in all, I’m okay not knowing. I’m okay with trusting; with believing and going in blind.

He is God, I am not.

And I’m okay with that.

{sources: bls.gov & worldhungor.org}